happiness – Bits of Love Creations

Loving on Your People…

Loving on your people… even after they move out? Well, yes!

If you know me, you know that my kids moving out on their own will not deter me from being the quirky, over-the-top mom. So my oldest moved out this past fall and while it’s been an adjustment, it’s actually been a fairly smooth transition. He only lives about 15-20 minutes away and we’ve seen him more often than I thought we would, so thats good! Lol!

So each year, I place the conversation hearts I’ve made on the bedroom doors of my kids. These hearts are made of colored construction paper, with words written in sharpie. Every year I go through my stack of hearts and pick words/phrases for each of them. And when I think of new words, I make new hearts to add to the stack! On the 14 days leading up to and including Valentine’s Day, I tape a heart on their bedroom doors. A word/phrase that is a quality I see in them. Something I’m proud of, something I admire, and something I respect. It’s my little extra way of showing them in “the month of love” just how special they are to me.

If you’ve been around the blog for a bit. you’ve no doubt read about this here.

But this year, with my son no longer here, I wondered what I would do? He lives on his own for now so I figured, why not keep the tradition by sending him the hearts I would put on his bedroom door if he were here? So that’s exactly what I’ve done!

I took 14 envelopes, and the 14 hearts with words I’ve chosen this year and I hand delivered them to him at his new place with the instructions to open an envelope each day starting with February 1st. He was suprised and not quite sure what I was up to, but it didn’t take him long to figure it out!

My original plan was to send the envelopes in a box with a few little things for V-Day, but since his dad’s birthday is the same day, I will undoubtedly see him so I opted to save the postage and just give him the envelopes for now.

It may seem silly, over-the-top, or strange to some; but I don’t care! Lol! Showing the people in my life how much I love them and how special they are is important to me and it seems like the world could use a little more of the little things to show we care.

What’s even better about this whole scenario? He’s actually hanging them on his bedroom door in his condo and was happy to send me a picture when I asked. I cannot tell you how happy that makes my heart. Through good and bad, the bond I’ve created with my kids will still always be the most important job I’ve ever done!

File_000 — The pic he sent me of his door… my heart is full!

Coffee Crawl – At Home

So what do you do when you want to do another coffee crawl and you are in quarantine? You do one at home!

Each week when I sit down to discuss all the things going on with Bits of Love with my girls, we have coffee and hash it all out. So this particular day just happened to be Megan’s birthday… so we did all the things.

I’ll start off with my coffee. I drink a donut house blend each morning (that I’m not out doing a coffee crawl) by Victor Allen. I usually purchase this from Big Lots, but it’s also available on Amazon. If I’m lucky to catch them on sale, I can get it as low as 19 cents per k-cup! You cannot beat that! Oh yeah, I have a k-cup brewer. I have the Keurig 2.0 and love it. I do take my coffee with a little French vanilla creamer. My creamer of choice, is great value french vanilla. It’s more affordable than the name brands, but adds just the amount of flavor I like.

On this day, Mallory made her DIY frozen mocha using espresso from her espresso machine. She takes 1/4 cup of sugar, 4 oz. of espresso, 1/4 cup of chocolate syrup, 1 cup of milk, and ice.

She mixes it all together in a blender and voila! You can actually add whipped cream and chocolate syrup drizzle on the top if you wish. Today she opted to not. It’s her DIY version of what you can find at places STL Bread Company and Starbucks.

Megan likes her coffee black. She says she likes it strong, but not bitter. She often likes to use her great grandmother’s coffee grinder and grind her coffee beans fresh, then brews it in her tiny Black & Decker coffee maker. I let her tell you about her love of coffee.

I love strong coffee and I used to just drink any kind of coffee, but I’ve started to educate myself a little more about the art of coffee. I’ve learned that the coffee grounds you buy from the store are typically super acidic which gives them a really bitter taste. This is because once the coffee beans are ground, they should really be brewed soon after. Coffee grounds from the store are ground up into fine pieces, almost like a powder, and typically sit on the shelves or are shipped from place to place for months before they are even bought and brewed; thus loosing a lot of their smooth flavor.

I have started using whole beans and grinding them myself before I brew my morning coffee…holy cow there is definitely a difference (not to mention the old hand grinder is very fun to use)! I have also learned that when you grind your own coffee beans, if you don’t grind them as much — leave them in larger chunks — you taste more of the coffee’s flavor and get a really smooth brew.

In this journey of mine to learn more about coffee, I found a favorite bean. It’s called Death Wish which is just amazing in and of itself. This coffee is high in caffeine and low in acidity, not to mention it is supposedly the strongest coffee in the world. I’m not sure how true that is, but I am HERE FOR IT!

I’m not entirely sure I would ever want to try Megan’s Death Wish coffee! I love coffee, but that sounds super strong. So how’s that for your coffee education? lol! I’m sure there’s much much more to be learned about the art of the coffee bean and I am sure Megan will continue to share!

Have a lovely day!

Fashion Finds – Colorado Ski Trip

Hello everyone! We’re back with another Fashion Finds for you!

My friends and I had the opportunity to go to on a ski trip to Evergreen, Colorado for spring break this year. Of course I needed to make sure I had what I needed for skiing, but I also wanted to make sure I was fashionable too! My mom and I were so excited to go shopping for some accessories to take with me on my trip. I am super thankful that my trip actually went as planned since this was my first time to ski, but also my first time visiting Colorado! By the time our trip ended and we came back, travel plans across the country and the world were being altered due to COVID-19.

We went on the search for a new winter coat, that was long, so I didn’t freeze while skiing. I have a winter coat that I wear everyday, but I didn’t think it would’ve kept me warm enough for skiing, plus its an odd color that isn’t very fashionable lol.

Marshall’s was the place to go, man I love that place. I found a long black coat with a detachable fur hood that is reversible with the other color being white. I was so excited to find this, as I have been looking for a long coat since after Christmas. This was an AMAZING deal. I found this long, reversible coat with a detachable fur hood for just $12, like can you believe it.

While we were at Marshall’s we found a cute hat and mitten combo pack for $12.99! It wasn’t a necessity for the trip but it was definitely a cute addition. The hat and mittens are a cute white with color speckles and the hat has a furry ball on the top! They are Steve Madden, so this was an amazing deal and an adorable fashion accessory as well!

The other necessity was winter boots. I knew my feet would be cold since I do not own insulated fur boots because where we live, it isn’t essential. We looked at a few different stores, but we were successful at Academy Sports + Outdoors since they had a huge boot sale! I found these fur lined, insulated boots for $21.95! They had a huge variety of boots, so my mom even got some duck boot dupes for only $24.99! It was a huge winter sale and there were some AMAZING deals!

That is all I have for this Colorado edition, but I hope this was helpful if you live or are going to a cold climate for some reason! I’m sure you’ll feel and look great it whatever you decide!

Until next time,

Xoxo Mal

What About Me?

So there’s lots of new faces around here. I’ve been encourage to do an “Introduction to me” post.

Here’s the problem I’ve always had with that… who am I?

If I don’t know, how can I share with others?

I start talking about myself and end up talking about my kids every time. Why? Because they ARE my life. They are grown, and still they are my life. However, I’ve begun my own journey in the last couple of years. So maybe I do know a little more about myself that I thought. Let’s see.

I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Not to “not work”, but to cultivate the relationships, bonds, and lives of my kids. I truly feel it’s one of the MOST important jobs we are to EVER do. We are raising those that will run this world. Take care of this earth. Raise their own some day. They not only need to be taught how to live and survive and right from wrong, they need to be taught how to relate to others. To care for others. To love others.

Now that my children are grown, I’m on a journey to rediscover myself. You always hear about parents making their kids a priority over themselves and who they are, but you never truly understand until you are in that position. And that’s exactly what I did.

So who am I???

For now, let’s start on the surface:

I love music! All kinds of music!

I have a handful of favorite tv shows. Friends is definitely at the top of the list. Right up there with it is One a Tree Hill & Charmed. I like so many different genres and many other shows, but those are definitely at the top for me. One of my childhood favorites was Wonder Woman. The original. Wonder Woman. Like the Lynda Carter version. There will never (for me) be another Wonder Woman like her.

I love to cook for my family. Well, when I’m feeling it. The day to day rigor of – work, come home, fix dinner, work some more, head to bed – gets to me often and I just don’t feel like it. But when I have time and am in the mood, I love it!

I love, love, love to read!

Fun fact : I own every Nora Roberts book she’s written under her given name. I love her writing style and the way she develops her characters and their relationships. You truly feel like you’re a part of the story.

I’ve also been making small strides to get back to caring for myself:

I’ve recently increased my water intake to 1/2 my body weight in ounces/day. Currently (as I’m writing this post) I am on day 60! I definitely see some differences in the way my body feels.

I’ve also developed routines for each morning and each evening. (I’ll elaborate on those in another post) Before I would clean my face when I felt like it, or take my vitamins when I remember, but developing these morning/evening routines have been a huge factor in my development of self care. My youngest, Mallory, took a course in school where she learned all about deficiencies and tried to help me figure out what was the most important for me to take lol. I’ve also had a doctor’s input in that area.

I want to evolve my self care to accomplish a more healthy lifestyle. And I’ve made moves toward this. I stretch every morning and every night, Megan even gave me some suggestions for this one – being a dance instructor and all. Stretching is so important for our bodies.

When I started this journey of rediscovering myself and taking care of myself, my kids were (and are) all onboard. My son, Jacob, has even talked with me about the importance of this for me. They are seriously my biggest cheerleaders and it’s really great to experience. It makes me realize just how wonderful they’ve become and how “worth it” it really was to stay at home and raise them because we were able to build lasting bonds that go both ways.

This is (and I am) definitely a work in progress.

In order to be fully transparent, this whole post has been a struggle for me. Nudges from each of my kids have pushed me to hit the publish button. It has always been very easy for me to show love to others. To pour time and energy into others. But it’s not been as easy to do that for myself. I’m always evolving and self care is getting easier and easier. Showing myself love in that way is becoming more natural for me. However, talking about it, sharing things about myself is never easy. The tightening in my chest and procrastination was all too real with this post. I’m pretty much an open book. I will share just about anything with anyone. But writing about myself just feels so vulnerable.

I hope you stick around each week for the fun posts, but also check back in because I will be updating my progress on this self care, self discovery journey I’m on.

Until next time…

Busy or Productive – Which One Are You?

Don’t be busy. Be productive.

Have you heard this before?

This was always me! So much of my life was me thinking I had to be busy. Something always had to be going on for me to feel accomplished. I’m not sure if it was mom guilt, SAHM guilt, or something else; but the older I get and the older my kids get, the more I realize what it is to be truly productive!

You see, once upon a time when my kids were young, I did (or tried to do) all the things. I always said yes! I was a room mom. I was in their school’s parent organization, in fact I ran in for quite a few years. It was a full time volunteer gig. I sold candles on nights and weekends to bring in a little extra money so I wouldn’t feel ‘as quilty’ for being a SAHM. (that’s a whole other post idea). I was there every second for my kids and their activities, but what I realize now is that I didn’t need all that “busy” to be making the impact I wanted to on my kids’ lives.

Was I there for them when they were sick? Yes.

Did I make sure they were clean, clothed, fed? Yes.

Did I spend quality time with them regularly? Yes. All the time, actually.

Then all of those other things I felt I needed to say yes to were just noise. It’s ok that I did that, I enjoyed most of what I did, but what were my reasons for doing all the extra crazy busy things? If I could tell my 20-something self one thing it would be to slow down. Enjoy the time and be intentional with what you choose to say yes to. It truly does go by way too fast and being unnecessarily busy makes it go by even faster!

I would also tell my younger self that routines help create room for more time! I truly believe this! And in the extra time I’ve given myself through the routines I’ve created… the time I have for myself is most cherished. Look for that in another post coming soon 😉

I tend to be more intentional with how I spend my time now. Accomplishing tasks that move the needle forward in life, in business. Cutting out all the extra bluster and focusing on what I want, what I need, what my family needs… that’s the ticket. I can be there for others while being there for myself.

At least for me, busy creates chaos. Sure, there are still times when the chaos creeps in, that’s life.

Busy is multitasking, while productivity is focus.

Busy is telling everyone what little time you have, while productivity is making time for what is truly important.

I’m still working on this. It’s a process to progress, but priorities, intentionality, and focus are my guide.

Are you truly productive? Or are you just busy?

Prolonging the Beauty of Your Fresh Cut Flowers

Did you know that Valentine’s Day is the #1 holiday for florists and floral purchases? (cred: aboutflowers.com)

Who doesn’t love the look of fresh cut flowers? But they die, right? So why waste the money? I read somewhere recently that keeping fresh flowers in your space can reduce stress. Well then I’m thinking I need them in all my areas, how ’bout you?

So if you’re in the majority that received flowers for Valentine’s Day, or any other day, I want to show you what I do to my fresh cut flowers that will typically make them last longer.

Now, I have to stress that this isn’t a fool proof system, many factors can affect the longevity of your fresh cut flowers; how old they were when they were purchased and the air quality in the area they will stay are just a couple. This is what typically works for me.

First, take your flowers out of their packaging. I run lukewarm water in the kitchen sink and fill it up enough to cover about 1/3 of the bottom of the stems and gently lay them in the water (bottom of the stems only, not the whole flower, lol)

Make sure your vase (or container of your choice) is clean. I fill it up, also with lukewarm water about 1/2 way, and add 1/2 of the flower food that typically comes with fresh cut flowers. Save the other 1/2 of the flower food for later. If you do not have this, you can place an aspirin in the water. This will help reduce the bacteria in the water.

Figure out how much of the bottom of the stems you need to cut in order for the flowers to be the height you want. Note: make sure you don’t make them too short, you’ll be cutting them again in a few days to a week if they stay “fresh”. Remove any leaves from the stems that are in danger of being submerged in the vase/container of water. Leaves and fallen petals in the water create bacteria and will cause the flowers to wilt sooner. (See pic below)

Take each stem and make the cut at a 45 degree angle, while under the water. The angle cut allows more water to enter the stem. I then take the stem out of the water and place it directly into the vase/container of fresh water & food. . I try to not let air hit the fresh cut part of the stem for too long, because as air flows through the stem, air pockets occur and prevent water absorption. Cutting them under the water reduces the risk of air pockets.

Ideal temperature in the space your flowers will be displayed is between 65-72 degrees Fahrenheit. Keep them away from heating and cooling vents or near tv’s. Heat will increase the water evaporation rate and your flowers will dehydrate. Also keep your fresh cut flowers away from fruit. Fruit releases ethylene gas and will wilt your flowers sooner.

Each week I do the process over again, discarding any flowers that unfortunately didn’t make it through the week. (This is where you use the rest of your food packet. I like to get a small fresh cut bouquet from the grocery store and add them to the flowers that “made the cut” for the week.

I hope this helps you enjoy your flowers for longer than just a couple of days!

5 Things You Can Do TODAY To Change The World

This quote from Steve Jobs is one of my favorites. I mean, I’ve always thought of myself as a little bit crazy. I’ve also thought what I do with my life can change the world. I haven’t ever told anyone that little tidbit… but its always been there. I think maybe that’s where my love for volunteering and being there for people comes from. Seriously. I feel a constant drive to be there for others, to volunteer my time, to see if I can make a situation better for someone. Because if I can, then my day is made! Of course that’s not to say I’m perfect, I’m actually pretty far from it, aren’t we all? I have my moments of cattiness and frustration, just like everyone else. But my heart is most full when I can be there for someone through a rough time, give sound advice (although I don’t always follow it myself), or just generally make someone happy. Shouldn’t we all do that? Make others happy? Help make the world a better place, with kindness?

That’s it! Super simple! There are a million other ways we can spread kindness and change the world. These are just a few. I’ll end with another favorite quote: “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Ghandi

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